Tag Archives: rant

Things You Should Never Say to a Healer… if You’re DPS!



Sorry for the “no post on Tuesday” thing.  I thought I had this scheduled to post then, but clearly I did not, and for that, I apologize profusely.  Let me make it up to you by being snarky!!!  As a healer, I hear a tremendous amount of stupid things from other players- not all the time, mind you, but often enough to make such posts as this possible.  And EVERYONE does it- tanks, DPS, even other healers!  And it irritates me every time because it’s like people don’t care about why I’m doing- or not doing- something, only that they think I’m wrong and need to try to prove it to me.

Well, needless to say, that’s why I have posts like these.  To show you how idiotic it is to do that.  Let’s get to it, shall we?

Things You Should Never Say to a Healer… if You’re DPS!

1. Why are you OOM?  Ok, if you’re asking this, then you CLEARLY haven’t been paying attention to recent healing changes in which Blizzard has stated that healer mana regen and our ability to get back mana was kind of ridiculous at the end of MoP.  It got to the point where I never dropped below 75% mana on my Resto Shaman- while casting nothing but Chain Heal over and over again.  So healer mana regen got hit with the nerfhammer and most of us lost our mana generating abilities.  This means we have to think, DPS.  We have to be careful.  We have to watch our spell prioritization and your health to make sure we put the right heal on you at the right time.  See, the problem is that you look at it like a DPS, so let me explain it like I’m DPS- if you screw up your rotation, you lose DPS, right?  If I screw up mine, people DIE.  Chances are, if I’m OOM, either I screwed up or someone else forced me to spam Flash Heal on them for whatever reason.  So have no mana.  Shut up about it.

2.  Why did you let me die?  I didn’t LET you die.  You probably died because I was either saving my life or a tank’s life.  I am a healer- I WILL prioritize my life and the tank’s life over your life.  I know, it’s kind of messed up, but think of it this way: if I die, you and the tanks don’t get heals.  If you don’t get heals, you die and can’t DPS.  The tank dies and that will probably lead to a wipe.  There are two tanks, between three and six healers, and between six and 23 DPS.  There are more of you than there are of us at any given point in time.  WE can afford to sacrifice a DPS if it means keeping a tank or another healer (or ourselves) alive.  You are the BOTTOM of our healing priority list.  Deal with it.

3. Why are you rolling on that (main piece of armor?)  Because that armor no longer has Spirit on it to tell you that it is HEALER ONLY.  We have to share.  So do you.  /roll

4.  Why are you rolling on that (minor piece that doesn’t have Spirit?)  This could be any number of reasons, but I’ll give you the big one- because that ring has Crit/Mastery on it, and that is WAY BETTER than any ring with Spirit on it because it has my two BEST STATS.  It is still very good and completely viable for me, so stop whining about it.

5. I NEED HEALS NAO!!!!  Um… yeah, this is probably the worst way to get on your healer’s bad side.  I’ll get to you, calm the hell down.  Yelling at me like I don’t spend the entire fight monitoring people’s health bars is moronic.  Chances are, I KNOW you need a heal.  See #2 and the “you get prioritized last for a reason” speech.  Also, don’t scream for heals if you aren’t sub 30% health, because if you aren’t, then you’re really in no danger of dying unless you stood in the fire for too long and can’t lock rock/ PCD your way out of it.  In which case you need to not stand in the fire because that is avoidable damage and now you are making me waste my precious mana because you screwed up.

6.  Why weren’t you in range to heal me?  Lemme put it to you this way- I have to be in range of the tanks AT ALL TIMES.  You don’t.  It is just as much your responsibility to stay within 40 yards of me as it is my responsibility to stay within healing range of you.  Want healed?  Stay with me if you want to live.

Believe me, this isn’t all I’ve heard, but it’s a good start.  Thank you for stopping by! I’ll have another post up on Friday about something healing related (I am debating between several topics right now) so make sure you come back and check it out!  As always, keep cool and stay angry, healers!



When the DPS Dies, Its Their Own Damn Fault: When This Is and Isn’t the Case

Yes, I am really going there.


-clears throat-

Anyways, I am typically of the belief that if you are DPS and you die on a non- boss fight… it is your fault!  Let’s face it, DPSers- there is no excuse for it.  If you’re dying during a mob pull, you’re not paying attention to what’s going on around you.

So, lets pick out a few normal, every instance situations and weigh the details.  And we, the Angry Healers who have to watch your health bar dwindle to nothingness, will determine whether or not your death is your fault- or ours.

If the DPS Dies, Its Their Own Damn Fault:  When This Is and Isn’t the Case

So, let’s look at some common scenarios encountered in your typical instance/ Heroic/ raid:

1.  Standing in the Fire- DPS’s fault?  You betcha.  I’m sorry, it’s the classic complaint of all raiders.  This goes along with Void Zones.  Don’t stand in them.  Don’t stand near them if you’ve got a shitty machine and need to turn down your spell graphics to run WoW smoothly.

Don’t blow up the raid. It will make me hate you.

2.  Running up to a mob and Pyroblast critting it for half of its life-  DPS’s fault?  Hell yes. There is this thing.  Its called aggro.  If you hit the mob first, you will get the aggro the tank wants and die.

3.  Letting a tank get aggro, but blowing all of your cooldowns to get that BIG CRIT to blow up your Recount and report repeatedly in party chat, only to pull threat- DPS’s fault?  If you do this, you should go stand in the fire.  Seriously.  No one cares about your Recount if you continuously pull threat.  Scoring that BIG CRIT just to stroke your own e-peen is annoying at best.  It gets you killed in my party- I do NOT heal fools like you.

Pay less attention to this and more attention to your surroundings.

4.  Watching General Vezax launch a Shadow Crash at you… and not even bothering to move.  DPS’s fault?  Fuck yeah.  This goes for all forms of ‘avoidable damage.’  If it can be avoided, it should be, especially something as easy to dodge as Shadow Crash, or Void Reaver’s Arcane Orbs.  Its damage you are taking that’s making me expend unnecessary amounts of mana to fix.

You know what?

DPS, the only time its not your fault is when you’re taking damage that is  unavoidable, like Gluth’s Decimate, or Stinky’s poison cloud attacks.

Other than that… be prepared to have it blamed on you.

That’s it for this week, folks.  Tune in again on Tuesday where I’ll rant about something that I have yet to determine.  Until then, stay angry, healers!


Not So Bonus Post- Ensidia

Ok, who here doesn’t know about the 72 hour ban Blizzard slapped on Ensidia this morning?

-looks around- 

Ok, now of those of you who have heard of it, who’s sick of hearing the arguments of  ‘Oh, they couldn’t have known it was going to bug out’?  Or what about the ‘OMG THEY SO DID IT BANHAMMER THEIR ASSES’? 

-looks around again-

Angry Healers and all of you lovely others who may or may not give a damn about what goes on in this here blog, if you are sick and tired of hearing about Ensidia wherever you go today, RAISE YOUR HANDS!

-raises hand-

-looks for other raised hands-

Bottom line, folks- Blizzard is God on the servers.  Blizzard sees all and knows all (and if they don’t then they can find out pretty easily.)  If they saw exploitation, then they saw a damn exploitation.  Yeah, it was Ensidia.  WHO FUCKING CARES?  Would they care if it was your guild?  Hell no. 

Ensidia got banned.  Its not permanent.  They lost their world first kill of Arthas, their acheesements, and their loots.  End of story.  Can we drop it now?  Please?

Welcome Back! Here, Have a Prima Donna Tank and Healer Post!

I hope everyone’s holidays brought them everything they wanted, and then some.  Mine brought me friends from up north,  a faction swap of my priest back to the Horde to play with them, and a hangover (no, nothing as epic as The Hangover.)

But now, its time to get angry, healers.  And its time to show some appreciation.

Whilst parusing teh intarwebz this morning, I came across a post in a snark community (no, I’m not snarky, not at all… ) I frequently post in about ‘DPS being a dime a dozen’ and that ‘Healers and Tanks deserve loot drops more than DPS.’  What made this worst, perhaps, is that this was guest posted over at World of Matticus


Rage, incoming as  I step back from my favored role as a raid healer… and put on my ‘I was a successful DPSer’ robe and hat.  (Hunter, Boomkin, Shadow Priest, and Rogue GO GO GO!)

First off, guest poster, DPS are not a dime a dozen.  Them being a dime a dozen implies that they all do the same amount of DPS, no matter what their class, have no utility whatsoever, and are pretty much required to stand there and auto attack while the tanks and the healers do all the work. 

-ahem- No.  In the words of the XT-002 Deconstructor: ‘ no no No No NO NO NO NO NO.’  Seriously, dude, wth?  What do you mean the DPS are just ‘meat in the room’?  Who’s killing the boss?  Not the healer.  Not the tank (for the most part, though I do applaud Blizzard for giving you guys some DPS capabilities now.)  The Deeps. 

Who’s interrupting the brutal Frostbolts on Lady Deathwhisper?  Probably your kicking Rogues. 

Who’s interrupting the problematic Sentry Blast that could wipe your raid in Ulduar?  That’s probably a combination of your rogues, shaman, and warriors.

Who’s helping your Tank frontload asstons of threat?  That Hunter back there, with her Misdirection. 

 Who’s taking down the gangs of trash mobs that pull together?  That Shadow Priest using Mind Sear, that Mage using Blizzard, that Warlock using Rain of Fire, that Boomkin using Hurricane. 

No- NOT the Tank.  Or the Healer.  The DPS.  Their whole job is to slam the boss and mobs with enough damage to kill them.  There are fights in game that REQUIRE the DPS to have a minimum personal DPS of 7.5k.  Can a Tank do that?  No.  How about a healer?  Nope, not them, either.  Do you not remember fights like Reliquary of Souls in Black Temple, where abilities HAD to be interrupted?  Where if you didn’t have a Rogue kick rotation, you wiped?

Now, please keep in mind- this isn’t to say that there aren’t idiots amongst the DPS.  There are, and there are such a large number of people that play DPS that it seems that most of the idiots are concentrated there.  But I’ve run with some pretty fail tanks and healers, so I can say with confidence that its not just them.  And its not just being DPS that makes those special cases idiots.  Some people just aren’t very good.  But idiots are not limited to DPS.  Oh no.  You would be surprised at how often I get complimented on my healing in PuGs because some people just can’t get it.  And how often do I find myself beating my head off of my desk because the tank can’t hold threat?  I assure you, its fairly often, and the majority of the reason why I just don’t PuG anymore.

And its not just this- groups are a machine.  Everything needs to be there in order for it to work.  No heals?  Tank dies.  No Tank?  Everyone dies.  No DPS?  The healer runs out of mana before the tank gets a chance to get the mob down.  Raids are even more so, because everyone is expected to perform at a level much higher than expected in a 5 man instance, where- literally- failing to put out the proper amount of DPS or do any of the other utility abilities DPS classes possess can, and will, wipe the raid.

LEAVE THE DPS ALONE.  Sure, DPS are everywhere… but good DPS are just as hard to come across as good Tanks and Healers.  And I don’t say ‘good’ and mean ‘have really good TPS/DPS/HPS and thats it.’  I mean ‘have really good HPS/TPS/DPS, don’t stand in the fire, can dance with the best of them, and can smile after its all said an done.’

So, Mr. DPS- Are- Meat- In- The- Room… tell us again exactly why it is that you feel that Healers and Tanks do all of the work?  Sure, we’re underappreciated at times… but I think your post show how even the DPS can be taken for granted.  I stand by the outstanding DPSers in my guild, who attend my raids, and make my job easier.  Cheers to you folks who continue to prove posts like the one over at WoM wrong.

What a better way to start the year at Angry Healers than with an Angry Post!  =D

Stay angry, Healers!  Up next: Icecrown Citadel strategy posts!

Dear Blizzard

I…am a priest.

I…am not a warlock.

So why, pray tell, do I…look like a warlock in t10?


WTB wings + halo, PST.

No love,
-Faux-Angel Lyrandre


We both know that shadow form doesn’t count.