SNARK POST AHOY!!!!
Sorry for the “no post on Tuesday” thing. I thought I had this scheduled to post then, but clearly I did not, and for that, I apologize profusely. Let me make it up to you by being snarky!!! As a healer, I hear a tremendous amount of stupid things from other players- not all the time, mind you, but often enough to make such posts as this possible. And EVERYONE does it- tanks, DPS, even other healers! And it irritates me every time because it’s like people don’t care about why I’m doing- or not doing- something, only that they think I’m wrong and need to try to prove it to me.
Well, needless to say, that’s why I have posts like these. To show you how idiotic it is to do that. Let’s get to it, shall we?
Things You Should Never Say to a Healer… if You’re DPS!
1. Why are you OOM? Ok, if you’re asking this, then you CLEARLY haven’t been paying attention to recent healing changes in which Blizzard has stated that healer mana regen and our ability to get back mana was kind of ridiculous at the end of MoP. It got to the point where I never dropped below 75% mana on my Resto Shaman- while casting nothing but Chain Heal over and over again. So healer mana regen got hit with the nerfhammer and most of us lost our mana generating abilities. This means we have to think, DPS. We have to be careful. We have to watch our spell prioritization and your health to make sure we put the right heal on you at the right time. See, the problem is that you look at it like a DPS, so let me explain it like I’m DPS- if you screw up your rotation, you lose DPS, right? If I screw up mine, people DIE. Chances are, if I’m OOM, either I screwed up or someone else forced me to spam Flash Heal on them for whatever reason. So have no mana. Shut up about it.
2. Why did you let me die? I didn’t LET you die. You probably died because I was either saving my life or a tank’s life. I am a healer- I WILL prioritize my life and the tank’s life over your life. I know, it’s kind of messed up, but think of it this way: if I die, you and the tanks don’t get heals. If you don’t get heals, you die and can’t DPS. The tank dies and that will probably lead to a wipe. There are two tanks, between three and six healers, and between six and 23 DPS. There are more of you than there are of us at any given point in time. WE can afford to sacrifice a DPS if it means keeping a tank or another healer (or ourselves) alive. You are the BOTTOM of our healing priority list. Deal with it.
3. Why are you rolling on that (main piece of armor?) Because that armor no longer has Spirit on it to tell you that it is HEALER ONLY. We have to share. So do you. /roll
4. Why are you rolling on that (minor piece that doesn’t have Spirit?) This could be any number of reasons, but I’ll give you the big one- because that ring has Crit/Mastery on it, and that is WAY BETTER than any ring with Spirit on it because it has my two BEST STATS. It is still very good and completely viable for me, so stop whining about it.
5. I NEED HEALS NAO!!!! Um… yeah, this is probably the worst way to get on your healer’s bad side. I’ll get to you, calm the hell down. Yelling at me like I don’t spend the entire fight monitoring people’s health bars is moronic. Chances are, I KNOW you need a heal. See #2 and the “you get prioritized last for a reason” speech. Also, don’t scream for heals if you aren’t sub 30% health, because if you aren’t, then you’re really in no danger of dying unless you stood in the fire for too long and can’t lock rock/ PCD your way out of it. In which case you need to not stand in the fire because that is avoidable damage and now you are making me waste my precious mana because you screwed up.
6. Why weren’t you in range to heal me? Lemme put it to you this way- I have to be in range of the tanks AT ALL TIMES. You don’t. It is just as much your responsibility to stay within 40 yards of me as it is my responsibility to stay within healing range of you. Want healed? Stay with me if you want to live.
Believe me, this isn’t all I’ve heard, but it’s a good start. Thank you for stopping by! I’ll have another post up on Friday about something healing related (I am debating between several topics right now) so make sure you come back and check it out! As always, keep cool and stay angry, healers!